Always, Etc
by runrightback
Summary: Brief glimpses of how in love they really were, throughout their lives.


Her left hand squeezed his, wedding rings grazing each other. His hand was limp, fragile, weak. Hers reassuring, comforting, a reminder she would always be there. Like he always had.

* * *

><p>"Do you, Richard Castle, take Katherine Beckett to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, with suspect or without a clue—" Here the entire crowd chuckled at the change Castle asked Judge Markaway to make—"To the end of your days?"<p>

After a pause for dramatic effect, he smiled at Kate, his lovely, wonderful, extraordinary Kate, and answered, "Always."

* * *

><p>He had walked in on her. A complete accident. Every detail of the moment was burned into his memory. She had been wearing her purple sleep shirt and gray yoga pants. It was late in the morning, and the light streaming in through the windows was soft, streaking her hair with golden highlights. She had pushed up her shirt, resting her hands on her stomach. Just feeling it. He knew, he had already had one kid, after all, but it struck him how blank her facial expression was as she spotted him in the mirror.<p>

Kate turned her head to look at him and said, with what he could only pinpoint as wonder or incredulity, "I'm pregnant."

He walked to her, his hands finding her arms, her shoulders, her face, he just needed the contact. Her eyes were searching his, almost impatient for him to reply. He said earnestly, "That might be the best news I've heard all day."

Rick flashed his biggest smile, trying to tell her with his eyes that this was a good thing, a wonderful thing, and that he was more than happy.

A small smile finally broke across her face as she replied coyly, "Well I would hope so, it's only ten a.m."

* * *

><p>Kate reached a point in life where she realized she simply couldn't do field work anymore. When she talked it out with the Captain she discovered that Gates was just about to leave the precinct, with arrangements at a higher position. Moving up the ladder to bigger and better things.<p>

Kate Beckett, Captain of the 12th Precinct. It had a nice ring to it.

She had kept her name at work after they were married because having two Castles there would have been a hassle. So she was technically Kate Castle, but to everyone at the 12th, she was still Beckett.

Castle was absolutely beaming with pride when she told him the news. "Oh Captain, my Captain!" He teased relentlessly.

He has a picture, on his office desk at home, of her at work on the first day after her promotion. Sitting on the edge of her new desk, legs crossed and showing off the new heels he bought her, she had been laughing with Ryan and Esposito about her new nameplate.

No longer_ Det. Beckett_, but _Captain Beckett.  
><em>  
>In the middle of their joking, she had gotten a phone call. Castle took the picture right as she leaned over to grab the phone, answering with, "Beckett," and a smile still lingering on her face. On either side of her stood her boys, grinning to each other as their friend, partner, and for all intents and purposes <em>sister<em>answered her first call as Captain.

It would be impossible for Rick to choose a favorite picture of his wife, but that one would be somewhere at the top of his list.

* * *

><p>They grew old. And they didn't particularly mind. Retired life was a breeze for Castle, his younger days having been spent mostly the same way. Have fun, do whatever you want, don't worry about work. He wrote when he felt inspired, but he was no longer plagued by deadlines and signings and book parties. He had had his share of those.<p>

Kate was always active, always looking for the next puzzle to solve. It took her a long time to just _relax._To enjoy the fact that from here on out, it was no work and all play. But once she did, she realized she was falling more in love with Rick every day.

And they grew old _together._

* * *

><p>They'd known for a while that Castle was dying. It was harder at first, because there wasn't an obvious reason for it. There wasn't anything to blame but the fact that he had lived his life out. And it was a great life; he had everything to be thankful for. So he had accepted it, more readily than Kate, even.<p>

She didn't want to tell him that she didn't know how to be strong without him anymore. Or let him know just how badly she needed him around. She couldn't tell him because he had made peace with it all. Kate didn't want him to feel like he would disappoint her in any way. Because he could never. He was a wonderful husband, and a perfect friend. More than what she could ever ask for. More than enough.

It broke her heart when he asked for his laptop because he was no longer able to speak. He typed everything out, long messages to Kate, Alexis, Ryan, Esposito, and their wonderful son, Zachary.

* * *

><p>The officer's funeral they gave him was heartwarming. He was one of their own. Kate gave a few words, not trusting herself to speak too long without breaking down. It was painful. But she could almost feel him beside her, elbowing her ribs, cracking a joke to lighten the tension because that's what he was best at, right? He was always so good at making her smile, making her feel comfortable.<p>

* * *

><p>It took her a while, but Kate eventually went through his laptop. Poised in his chair in his office, because it was right, all of it was made here, she sifted through his movie downloads, emails from fans, and pictures of their family. She noticed with a smirk that he had named each picture something very… <em>Castle<em>.

Some of the older ones included:  
><em>Kate giving me a look at 3 a.m.<br>Alexis' cute pouty face.  
>Zachary is as handsome as his father.<br>Our exhausted, haggard, beautiful lobster family.  
><em>  
>The last one was a caption for a hasty family photo taken at the Bahamas. Everyone was worn out, starving, and sunburned, but smiling. The sun made a pretty intense glare on the picture, Zachary wasn't looking into the camera, and the wind had been wrestling with Kate's and Alexis' hair, but Castle was right, as usual: beautiful.<p>

Kate made her way through everything, sometimes grinning, sometimes swallowing past the lump that formed in her throat, sometimes wanting to leave it all and never come back. Then she got to his documents. They were the last thing left, of course. You always save the best for last.

There were multiple folders to go through, and she read everything, never skipping a word he wrote. She found a few short stories with ridiculous plot lines, probably written just to get something down in order to move on. Products of writer's block. There was also the manuscript for the most recent of his books to find itself being adapted to the big screen. She supposed she should read it sometime and send the producers an email saying _yes, that's just fine, that will make a great movie. I'm sure Rick would have approved.  
><em>

She loathed the thought of talking for him in any respect. Words were _his_, they had always been his.

She exited the manuscript and glanced at the next document.

_For Kate.  
><em>  
>Her breath caught. She carefully clicked on it, half afraid she might do something wrong and delete it by accident, half afraid to find out what it said.<p>

In ridiculous swirly cursive letters at the top he had written: "My love," The rest was in a normal font, so she knew he was just being cheesy.

A deep breath, and then she started reading.

_I don't know if I ever told you, but Nikki Heat was, in my way, a love letter to you. All of my books were, really. Only before I met you I had no idea who I was writing to. You gave me reason, and stability, and love. And I gave you coffee. A lot of coffee. Days and weeks and years of "Grande skim latte, two pumps sugar free vanilla"._

_Do you remember those days, Kate? When the coffee would burn your throat, burn down into your body and you would wish you had the words to express your gratitude to me. I don't want you to ever feel like you let me down. Because you never did. I was always proud of you, I always loved you, even when you needed more space or a little extra time._

_I'm leaving you this, a real love letter, because it's what you deserve. You need to know that you are not perfect. But you are extraordinary and you are wondrous and you are loved. I ask only that you remember my voice as you read my books, which I'm sure you will. Remember me looking into your eyes, and loving you, and know that it was all for you._

_Everything._

_I'd like to think that when you read this, I'll be with my mom, and your parents too. I haven't met her yet, but I know already that I love Johanna. I know that we'll look down at you and smile at how beautiful you are, still. And I'll finally get to hear all about your wild child phase._

_I have to tell you, just one last time, that I love you Kate. Forever, continually, always, etc._


End file.
